So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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