Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
