forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
