So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
