yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
