WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize