New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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