I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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