I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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