I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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