Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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