Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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