Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
