I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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