all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
