brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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