This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
