i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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