So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
