Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
