But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
