we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
