Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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