this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
