You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
