Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
