We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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