we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
