She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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