Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We need to rekindle our bromance
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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