this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
