She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Still dying that you shit outside
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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