what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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