Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
