I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS