Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

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(408): View more from California

No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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(315): View more from New York

She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.

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(984): View more from North Carolina

i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.

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(914): View more from New York

It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.

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