let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.