I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
