At least make sure they are 18
Why
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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