Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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