We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
