Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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