i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
