I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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