we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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