The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
