Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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