I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
