I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
