how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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