Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
