Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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