Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
