don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
