Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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