everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
