We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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