super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
