She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
