You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
