I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize