Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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