Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
